I think the main problem in my generation and the one that comes next is that we’re lacking the motivation to be successful through years of experience and instead, looking to be rich by 18 as someone who is InstaFamous or some other sort of social means to gain attention. We don’t know the difference between being successful and just being rich.

Of course this is all just my opinion, but I’m no different than a normal girl my age and I too look at all the young people, much younger than me, making a ton of money and completely set for life and of course, there’s a longing in me. Let me correct myself, there was a longing in me. I was so upset when I first got to Serbia and was really struggling back and forth with the idea of starting a YouTube channel. So many Serbian friends were saying that I should and encouraging me towards becoming much more open about my life. To be honest I liked the idea for the wrong reasons and I think that really gave me my final decision – to not do it.

I was speaking with my mentor before I moved to Serbia and we were discussing my motivations – very plain and simple. She asked me if I’m motivated by money or fame. I thought, “Easy. Money.” I don’t want everyone to know my name. I definitely don’t want everyone to know my life. When it was put so simply it’s a simple answer. But when you look at reality and how the two intertwine it becomes a much more complicated discussion. The idea of being rich and famous is so tempting. But what happens behind the scenes, I can’t image how many days influencers and other public figures wish they could go back to being a nobody.

There’s an American man here, Charles Cather, who has made videos about Serbia for the past 9 years. He’s gained a lot of attention (about 40k subscribers) and mostly positive, from what I’ve seen. He recently made a video with my boss about his journey as an American businessman in Novi Sad. When they found out that I was also an American living and working here, we discussed me coming on his channel as well. To be honest I was so excited. I thought it was such a great way to talk about my thoughts and experiences, gain more attention for my website, what could be bad about it!

Once I went back and started reading through the comments, I noticed that the majority of them were positive but you’ll always have the negative nellies of the world. I couldn’t help myself, so of course, I went through and read some and all I felt is the urge to defend the truth against the nonsense comments that these random strangers were assuming about a variety of things. My family always thought I should be a lawyer, and one day I still might be, but it’s always been my personality to feel the need to defend those who cannot (or will not) defend themselves. I don’t like injustice and it gets me so fired up that the next day is basically ruined for me, thinking about if there was something I could have or should have done differently.

Bottom line, it was then I realized that I care way too much about what people think to ever be truly happy living a life so public. I’m a lover, not a fighter, and as easy as it is to say you don’t care what people think and you do what you want, blah blah blah – the truth is, we all care a little bit, and I care a little bit. I am so motivated to be successful and wealthy to support my family for generations to come, that sometimes it’s easy to get discouraged by how long the road less traveled is taking.

America lives in a modern age where everything is accessible to us, quick and easy with little to no effort necessary in most cases. It’s been wonderful for the technological leaps in advancing that’s been made, but horrible for the learned skill of hard work. We have no reason to do so! People will say that being an influencer is difficult, and in its own ways, I too believe that. But not in the same sense as an entrepreneur. Then you have the argument that a lot of these social media stars are entrepreneurs, and they are, but they mostly do the same thing – merch, makeup collabs, other collabs, etc. From what I have personally seen, the majority of them became entrepreneurs after their initial “rise to fame.” I don’t see many who start their businesses and then become beauty influencers, although I’m sure there are some out there.

The arguments could go on forever and I could think of different situations could take the next 10 paragraphs. What it comes down to is that it’s so important that we don’t lose motivation for the things that don’t come easy. We need people in the world to continue the leaps in advancing towards the greater good – like fixing global warming or political problems taking place in Sudan. I’m not saying nor pretending like it’s going to be me, but I’m also not changing my profile picture on Instagram to raise awareness instead of donating $5 or even $1 to the cause.

Being famous is probably nice, but are you remembered for anything greater than your physical features, makeup looks, cool sense of fashion, funny personality, nice booty… are you remembered for things that can make a difference for this world? The likelihood that I’ll do something amazing to leave the world a better place and be remembered for years after I’m gone is small, but that won’t stop me from putting my energy into trying.